You got to put in work

You have to put in work…..

It’s sad that men and women don’t know how to love one another . Some of you guys think it’s all about material shit, or dick or by words but guess what it’s actions. A women shouldn’t have to ask for nothing he should be making her happy on a daily basis. You sit and wonder why there was someone else that was able to get into your relationship… Because you allowed another man or women to step up to the plate and supply this woman or man with time, love and patience. Women are emotional beings if she is feeling neglected you are your leaving the door wide open for another person to come in an love her correctly. For some you , you get the woman and think the work is done. A real relationship takes work and if your not willing to put in the work then you might as well stay single.

The 2 D’S

Prologue

So …. here I am Trina James single after 10 years. When people talk about a mans mid life crisis they did it no justice. There I was comfortable with my personal life and career never thinking my husband Keith was out there slinging his dick all around northwest Indiana. The embarrassing part was that his whole family knew and my coworkers at the plasma center knew that I was being cheated on. Now I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I miss the signs. Keith was always at work or working out at the gym, he bought a whole new wardrobe and the ultimate change was the tattoos and piercings. My clean cut low cut fade husband went from business man to the wild child. It started with one tattoo and ended up two sleeves within eight months, and he didn’t stop there he pierced his nipples, his tongue and both ears twice. The day I discovered his infidelity I had came home from hanging out with best friend Jasmine. Jasmine was a the same size from high school and she married her high school sweetheart Daniel. At least once a week we found time to have lunch or to go shopping. Jasmine was crazy and wild and a ball of energy all the time, and when she would get really excited she would do a little twerk dance. But back to my situation, she and I had lunch and she was dropping me off back at my house and there was this strange red car in the driveway, which Looked like it could of been a newer Malibu or something anyway jasmine looked at me and I looked at her. “ ….. Girl… you want me to come with you?”, she asked with a look of concern on her face.

“ I think you better… but let’s go through the back door …. “, I say in a whisper.

Our house has three floors and from the master bedroom by the back door all I could hear was some woman’s screams of passion. Jasmine grabbed my arm and proceeded to hold onto me as we tipped toed up the stairs I had grabbed a bat from the downstairs closet and I was holding onto it firmly as I busted open the door to find this random chick riding my man reverse cowboy. Jasmine and I both rushed them both and tried our best to knock her head off. It didn’t matter that she was bigger than me all I knew was I was going to try my best to beat her ass.

Jasmine must of saw the look in my eyes and realized I was ready to kill her and in my mind I had snapped and I didn’t care at this point. That was the moment I realized one thing men are good for the two D’S, that dick and disappointment.

Be that light 💡

During this time of uncertainty I have begun to see that love and togetherness that this situation has caused us to do. In a time of crisis I have realize that even though we apart in our separate homes we have come together via social media to uplift one another. I have to be honest and say these Tik Tok videos have been so inventive and imaginative. Even if we were having a bad day someone’s Facebook post or family video that brought a smile to your face. I guess what I am trying to say is be somebody’s sunshine in the mist of their storm. You never know what picture or video or words could be what a persons needs at that moment. You can never know when someone is having a bad day or they may be depressed. Let your voice be the light that may bright someone’s day. Share the love and caring so that they know that are not alone and that someone care.

#nodreamstealers

She works hard

They say the idle mind is the playground for the devil. It can be but it can also give you the opportunity to see things clearly and actually analyze certain situations. We talk a lot about toxic friends and family, but what about the environment where most of us spend most of our time. That place called Work! The dumbest shit I ever said was I can’t wait to get grown and move out. This thing called Adulting sucks! And a major part of adulting is to make a living to afford those things called Gas and light and food. Day after day we put on our happy face and venture out to a place where sometimes we know we are not appreciated. Sigh 😔! There are those who say you can always find something else but it gets harder the older you become, and you begin to feel stuck and frustrated and under appreciated. It’s hard to maintain a happy attitude when you see the ones who half ass work being promoted above you. But even through all this you do your job and do it well. Hoping that eventually it may pay off but that’s a whole other blog in its.

#Nodreamstealers

How would you like it

How would you like it??

I’m going to be blunt and put it out there. Dating Sucks!!! When did we become so selfish and non caring that we decide to fuck with peoples feelings. If you are a man or woman an you are not ready for commitment or to date. Stay to yourself. Don’t involve someone else into your mess. Do not expect another individual to be your saving grace who wants to rescue you. If you don’t have your life together wait until you do please. As a woman we are tired of men who acts like they are interested in getting to know you but the reality is that they just want the booty. Don’t ask me to send you a nude pic because my ignorant ass will send you a pic of a utility bill! When did dating get so messed up! Who has time to try to figure out if your interested? I don’t! You have one chance to not return my call. You have one time for me to see that you blocked me or put me on Do Not Disturb and I will block you for real! In 2020 be honest about what you want if you want Ass then say it! But come to me like your ready for something deep and you are still living with your ex baby momma . Yes it’s time to man and woman up! Ladies stop letting this fools entertain your precious time. While your entertaining these fools a real man that is ready is out there.

No dream stealers 2020

Not that serious

One thing that amazes me is social media and those who interact with it. For me it for fun but for others it is they’re lives. The only problem with that is people need to be comfortable in their own skin. Yet with that being said. Don’t be mad with someone who is actually trying to get their live together and want to share that on social media. Most relationship ( meaning boyfriend or girlfriend or just friends) fail because someone in that relationship is insecure or no happy with themselves. How can you possibly love someone when you are unhappy with yourself. It can not work. Be aware when those toxic people and individuals say negative things about what you post or what you may share. Those people have a issue with themselves if they take Facebook, instagram or whatever seriously. If someone was to see my page they would probably think I was conceited. But I’m not conceited I’m proud of the woman I have become and my self esteem is off the charts. So if your proud of the woman or man you are then celebrate it baby no time for dream stealers in 2020🥰

Stop entertaining clowns 🤡

Stop entertaining clowns

The greatest thing that happened in my life is the ability to stop entertaining clowns. Not in just relationships but in everyday life and even work. You see when you become comfortable with yourself the less you are willing to accept. If someone tells you how they feel believe them! Do not waste your time in trying to change them because the only person who can do that is them and maybe Jesus. Sometimes the people we were friends with in high school are not meant to go with you all through your life. People grow and mature, but then there are others who remain stagnant in their life. They do not grow or mature. With that being said love yourself enough to know when to cut your losses. Love yourself enough to realize that it’s ok to be by yourself. It’s ok to go to the movies by yourself. But it’s not ok to entertain clowns 🤡 it’s ok to love them from afar but love yourself more 🥰🥰🥰

The reality of some $hit!

The reality of some $hit…

So a few days ago right before New Years I had a major reality check. It was about and on again off again relationship that I have been involved in for over thirty years. The reality was that the man I had adored for years was an narcissist. The reality for me was that he could never love me because he was not in love with himself. Let’s go back a little bit. Narcissistic individuals never take fault for anything. They feel they can say anything to you and when you try to defend yourself you are causing “ Drama” . Because they want you to believe you are the one with flaws not them. After receiving my psych degree it became clearer to me who I was dealing with. I separated myself from the situation and what does he do. What any narcissist would do go to the last resort and express his love for me. Let just say from experience that is any last ditch effort to keep you connected to them. So me being me I had to test this man to see where I stood and if he was really a narcissist. He had disappeared for a few weeks and we I heard from him again. He offered no explanation or apology, and he looked me straight in my face and told me your not getting an apology. My answer was clear and in my face. Did it hurt hell yes, did I get over it yes but it took time. The reality was it wasn’t not my fault and that I could not change the mindset of an narcissistic individual. The individuals have to have their own reality check when hopefully one day they lost someone who was in their corner and who honestly loved them. But truly it’s not your fault if you decided to choose yourself and not them

no dream stealers 2020

No excuses

Relationship can be very difficult and dating matters can be even worse when one or both people in that relationship is unsure of what they really want. Most people should know after a few months what they want and should verbally express it. But what happens when one hopes the other change their mind about what they want. So today I was talking to someone at work they had no idea I have degree in psychology and I normally wouldn’t share it because they automatically assume I’m analyzing them. But he came in and he got on the subject of his girlfriend and he decided to share that they had been having issues lately. So the only thing I asked him was how long have they been together he told me 15 years. He explained that he felt like there was a lack of respect recently. But then he went into saying how beautiful she was and how she has always been there to support him. I just smiled and he asked me why. I said to him when was the last time you told her she was beautiful? When was the last time you told her she appreciate her support? He then looked surprised but answered its been a while. He then said oh man, maybe she feels like I do! Like I’m not appreciated. He then said thank you. I never actually give advice I place a thought in the air. I tell people all the time if they have someone who has been in their corner through good and bad and cares for them unconditionally they better hold on to them because this dating thing is tricky and it’s sucks. You should look deep to see if it’s worth saving and working on because life is to short to be sitting up with someone that your miserable with

No dream stealer 2020

Oh hell no..

Being that it’s the beginning of 2020. I felt bit necessary to have a come to Jesus meeting with myself. Which means I had to see the reality of some shit in my life. No longer am I that spring chicken who has the time or energy to figure out where I stand with any man. So with that being said the reality for me is that the person I was dealing with was Not afraid to lose me, but I was afraid to lose him. But why? A real relationship will make both individuals appreciate what that have. But unfortunately they have dealt with too many individuals that have allowed them to be self centered and narcissistic. They have never suffered and consequences for their behavior so when they get with you they carry on the same behavior of placing you on the back burner. A real man would appreciate a woman who stands up for themselves and will not allow themselves to be treated like a doormat. Self esteem plays a big role in this also. When I write my blog I always place myself in the situation because I can only speak for me. But my fifty years on this earth have taught me a lot. Ladies and gentlemen know your worth because if you don’t you will attract people who can care less about your feelings or anything else, and they won’t know a good man or woman if that person hit them in the head . ❤️ u

No dream stealer 2020